Anonymous 07/20/20(Mon)22:14:15 No.25598723▶

    >>25598549
    Yeah, a funny/disgusting story from the morgue:

    So, we got a new guy working there. We're wheeling this big fat dead guy out to the funeral director chosen by the family. Well, gurneys are expensive, and a lot of county morgues are using ones bought in the 50's and 60's. A time when morbid obesity was rare. Gurneys back then simply werent designed for fat people. So this particular gurney hauling about 200 more pounds than it was designed for breaks snd dumps the 400 pound dead fatty directly into new guy's lap.

    Well, theres still air in corpses, so it goes "OOF" when it pins him to the floor, and also farts very loudly and wetly. If you thought fat boomer farts stink, try combining it with the smell of corpse anus. Of course he goes into hysterics and after a heroic battle on my part to roll it off, he runs away screaming.

    Dunno why. It wasnt even a sloppy one, guy died from a grand mal heart attack only hours before, but hey. Death buisiness aint for everybody. In any case, I got a very large dead body to move, snd I'm slone now.

    Luckily, funeral director guy, who is this really suave tall bald african (like "do you know da waey" style of talking kinda guy) used to have my job and offers to take his fancy tuxedo top off and help out. So after quite some effort we manage to transfer fatty's carcass into a body bag in the back of the hearse.

    Out of breath we both decide to smoke a cigarette leaning against the hearse in that back alley. I say "thanks man, those heavy ones are a pain in the ass snd I know a lot of morticians who wouldn't bother helping." He just chuckles and says "The bodies we deal with are heavier these days" in his heavily african accent.

    Dunno why, but that moment is seen as most poigniant in my mind. Some absurd, irreverent moment shared between guys of vastly different backgrounds while nonchalantly smoking next to the bloated corpse of somebody's dad or grandpa laughing about how fat he is like a couple of schoolboys.

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rcvrd jan 2021