nov 19 2020 thurs #2 it's been like a day, and i spent kind of a weird amount of time assembling this site. i got over 1,500 views! okay idk how that's counted or if the same ip's get counted twice or what, but hey. ... not to come across as boastful, buuut i absolutely noticed most of the sites around here are unironically perpetually "under construction", and a lot of them feature cumbersome flashy eyesores. glad im not epileptic. a huge factor is though, for quite a long time i was building up a pile of content, because i thought it was neat. however i wasn't sharing it as much as i could have been. so now im beginning to get there. it's hard to not rush things, though. because time's going so fast, and everyone irl is really on edge, and there's always irl matters that need to be dealt with, and all that aggravating dumb crap. but i really got into a groove and have a good time working on this and getting back the stuff i hadn't thought about for YEARS. i really really missed this kind of internet, and now i kind of have it back! and there could be more of it! but i know what's coming up, a LOT of people do. if you talk to people irl about the eerie spooky things, people know about what's coming up. the internet hasn't been anonymous in a long long time. original 90's internet was LOADED with freaks, creeps, nefarious people, horrible sickos, and now they're a bit wiser. people are more aware of sick freaks, and sick freaks know people are wise to their tricks. but one day sooner than probably all of us are going to think, we'll need to have a technical device implanted into our flesh to have internet access. and when that day suddenly hits fast, people like me will be gone. most site owners are actually really bad people, and mod crews... well you know what types of people WANT to have authority and say over others. you KNOW what kinds of delightful people go on to become law enforcement officers. i'm not one of "those" types, but i do agree, the enforcers and attack dogs of the evil oppressors, are always going to make things far, far worse than necessary. they are thieves, they steal from innocent people so they can auction off the goods, and "boohoo they didnt' get enough funding". they're a bunch of arrogant, prickish bullies that love to flaunt their status. they're fat and lazy, reliant on guns, full of roid rage. i'll just cut that rant short. well, the same type of petty asshole who doesn't get that kind of job irl, they aspire to have petty domination over internet plebs. these people are also absolutely nuts. i remember forums back in 2003, and this never, NEVER changed. these types of people fundamentally don't change. you could travel back in time and find these web admins and mods back in 2003-5, and they are IDENTICAL to the ones right here and now today. not one single difference. i'm not gonna blow paragraphs talking about the wrongs i've received, i got those hints fast and had to change approaches. the internet has really changed a lot. sites like this one give me optimism. but as things are cyclical, and... well im not really sure what to say about the internet, computers, and trends and happenings being cyclical. it's complicated, idk. i thought some things ended for GOOD, gone forever. but i found out new angles as to why things happened the way they did. i thought one major forum up and died for no reason. turns out the reason was a HUUUUGE personal drama, all about people and the bad choices they made. it wasn't a natural fizzle out and people moving on. there was a mega drama i didn't see. and there are people today who realize how SHIT everything has been, and they want something better, and i recently found out about that! which is good because i've had so many slumps and dark pits in my life, and just now do i see some shining beacons of good stuff actually happening! plus actually, irl's been far more successful. in spite of how bad things are right now, due to that megahoax that everyone knows about, but some people are obligated to defend it... really, people know it's a hoax. and talking to people irl has really given me a massive lift. some topics are dark and gloomy, but people realize the danger. people are waking up. people thirst for truth and genuineness. people are sick of fake shit. people want the real thing. until recently, i wasn't quite aware of it. as things do get harsher and nastier, there's pushback against it. well. long enough. vague. idk. i guess i'm just in full-on typing mode. /.