Dec 15 2020 Tues

turns out i'm far from the only one feeling that way, that what i USED TO enjoy, reading long books, watching movies, whatever, digging through dead old forums, abandoned websites, sniffing around on wikis before they became bloated, ad-cancer messes full of idiots rambling about their fanon and deviantart OCs (unless they were REALLY GOOD deviantart things) - i just can't muster up the enjoyment of those things anymore.

my passion and interests are as crushed, defeated, and dead as my own spirit and mental state. i just smile through the pain IRL, and pretend nothing bothers me. but it does. this is maddening. this is beyond frustrating, in the worst way.

time's speeding up, everyone knows it. video games and movies are all bloated, oversized, shallow, lifeless remakes. "redo the old thing, but uhhh with better graphics and celebrity voice recordings". bullshit. you can't revive the old things, they are what they are, and they can't ever be topped. they were products of their respective golden eras, and that golden era is long since dead and petrified.

you want to feel the feels and get that awesome warm fuzzy feeling? go back to something from a golden age. any kind of thing. because those ages are over and done with, that book has been read and is now closed. you can open it again, but that book can't be edited.

... AAAAARGH.

that's all i can say. buncha angry frustrated noises.

pokemon games now have horrible glitches and cut mons, and are in BETA when they hit the shelves, other franchises are just INCOMPLETE like sonic 06. but this time, it's not just the christmas rush, it's time itself. and everything else.

people and companies only want to make something big and impressive, that "wows" people. they want to have bigger pixel counts, bigger audio files, bigger FMVs, have 60fps videos. there's the pissing contest over which estrogrinning baldo surrounded by shitty toys and posters for video games and movies, is for who can export the biggest, most padded-out and vapid 15m, ad-ridden video full of junk and filler, and have it be bigger than 720p. because you neeeeed to see the fine detail on the bs things that are 10 feet away from the camera, and the pathetic host is front and center, hogging the focus, because EGO EGO EGO LIKE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE RING THAT BELL IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

yeah im bitching about nothing again, don't mind me.

this is all so tiring. books would have pissing contests over all the flowerly faff and blah blah look at me, i know big words, im gonna spend 10 fat paragraphs describing something. plot? uhhh there's like uh, a ghost. yeah.

things are more inflated with TRASH and JUNK and PIXELS and DATA that adds nothing. things should be light and simple. things should be pebbles, but instead they're massive boulders when they don't need to be.

... there's something i've been meaning to do...

... but that's completely separate from this website. this thing is what it is, but i want to do something else in addition to this side project.

but what's the use. no one has the TIME, there is NO TIME, so what's the point. no one will see it, no one has time to hang out with me, no one has time to hang out and do what they like. there's no time for me to make, there's no time for someone else to see it.

pointless.

/.