Pokemania pt3
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Pokemania #3

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Let's get a little kooky here... So how bout them mythological creatures? Pokemon's mons varied in all kinds of inspirations. Some were just regular animals with elemental qualities and unicorn horns, cuz why not. Some were unimaginative blobs, or cool blobs like Koffing. Some were object mons, others were standard legendary creatures, like western dragons. But curiously, not that many eastern dragons. Some mons were just straight up Japanese mythological creatures. Ho-oh is a Chinese phoenix, and those are literally just called "hoho". That's what Chinese phoeneces are called. BTW, the western phoenix is also a very significant symbol of the 33 Orange cult, which symbolizes faking one's own death, and taking on a new personal identity in a new location.

Dunsparce, Exeggutor, Jynx, how the hell do I remember all this shit, probably Lickitung, Ninetails - all Asian mythological beings. Probably more I didn't list.

These might be called "Yokai", but there's many, many varieties of yokai. Some southeast Asian monsters are crazy badass, like there's this monster woman whose torso detaches from her hips and flies around, and the only way to stop her is to chop up her legs. Or that long-necked Japanese woman monster thing. But AFAIK those aren't in Pokemon games.

The object mons, which had more added long past the time I lost interest in the series, are probably mainly based on the yokai that are said to be mundane objects that reached the big 100 years old, and suddenly gained eyes and tongues. But wait! That won't work on electronics, hmmm... Why would a paper lantern make it to 100 years, or a pair of scissors, or a candlestick holder, why do those get to become yokai, but electronics don't. Sounds kinda contrived and not justified to me...

But wait again. How about European folklore, of the fair folk? Baffos are obsessed with inversions, and portraying things incorrectly. Traditionally, fairies were seen as extremely pesky and mischievous. Offerings might appease them, or something. Fairies were known to just be annoying. In Labyrinth, the main character gets bit by a fairy, and told she was being stupid for assuming it'd grant wishes instead of bite. Today, fairies are painted as frilly pastel pink and white glittery butterfly things, but you know how false depictions are. Those paintings of "angels", that is NOT!! what angels look like, and demons are NOT little red winged goblins. Demons probably don't even have a visual form.

Oh, and unicorns? They're mentioned in the Bible. But let me ask you, if an ungulate has cloven hooves and a "beard", is it an equine... Or a bovine?? Would a unicorn be a horse with a party hat, or a giant goat thing?

Back on western fairies. They're allergic to iron. You ever heard about werewolves and vampires being severely allergic to silver? Fairies are allergic to iron. What is a very common material in the world most of us live in. Metal. And much of the time, it's electrified metal. That sounds like something that could burn the shit out of a fairy from a yard away! When was the last time anyone seriously claimed to have seen fairies. Fairies are said to HATE metal more than anything, and electrified metal, that might be something that could kill them.

It's been said that spirit entities were declared to be "devils" according to supposed "Christian missionaries" in the past, but I wasn't around for that. It's entirely possible that spirit entities were just another part of creation, like plants and animals and so on. Who can say. Have you seen any recently?

But we live in a boring, bland, DEAD, STERILE world, where things stay where they are, and nothing interesting happens pretty much ever. If there were real ghosts and spooks and fairies, that might liven things up around here. But ghosts seem to just be the product of wishful thinking. There's the Holy Ghost, but you don't see communities as described in the books of Acts anymore. Also, that was small-scale local communism. The big, forced "red scare communism" seemed to be a smear against small communities where people just shared everything. But things like that can't be forced on a large country, they're strictly tiny village things only.

MissingNo and rumors about things like "pokegods" were a MASSIVELY contributing factor to Pokemania. The public internet was still rapidly developing, and fake codes mixed with real ones were being shared all over the place. 6-10 year olds in completely different regions of the country, were all saying the same stuff, without having met the other pokemon fans in other states. That just wouldn't be possible today. Today, games are leaked before they're even released, and the nanosecond they're released, the ROM gets dumped and the whole thing gets examined with a fine-toothed comb. There's no mystery or wonder anymore. "Gaster" doesn't count.

What several people had to say about MissingNO was, everyone knew about the "naked Lara Croft cheats", or "get mewthree or charcoalt" stuff, but low-poly tiddies aren't all that interesting, and have you SEEN those "screens" of pokegods, they looked like shit. And obviously those codes don't work. But then you talk to the drunk or uncaffeinated guy, and go to Cinnabar Island, and you see something for real. And get 128 of whatever's in your 6th item slot, and other fun things! That's what really got people. There were no poorly textured nipples or charizard with an extra horn, but there was MissingNo, M'Block, ZZAZZ, 3trainerpoke, a hidden battle with Prof. Oak and glitch trainers, Charizard 'M aka The Cancel Button Itself... Pokemon was a blast!! Most game companies don't want to ship products like that, but that stuff was AMAZING! There were even Glitch Cities! And I don't want to live in a world without Glitch Cities.

Dec 07 2020